5 Steps to Answer
When Your Child Asks
Is there Really a Santa Claus?
At age 7, living on the farm, my father and I were cleaning hog pens, when I worked up the nerve to ask him, “Is there really a Santa Clause?” He leaned in and with a serious question to answer a question, he said,
“Well, what do you think,
the whole world is just sh*#!ing each other?”
That’s probably what launched me into a lifetime of wondering why we do what we do.
The struggle is real. Last week, a close friend confided that she was terrified of getting cornered in the “lie” of Santa Clause! What? When did the lesson of unconditional giving turn on us? It’s time to take a step back and realize what we are doing, and why we are doing it.
The 5 Step Santa Reveal:
- Start early. From day one, (or today) even if you are not of Christian faith, most kids hear about Santa Claus, so think of it as a historical lesson in world religion. Little is truly know about Santa who was originally a pastor Nicholas, who became a saint (regular people who had extraordinary faith and inspiring practices, and who were said to have been involved in 2 miracles). Buy a book about St. Nicholas, there’s a lovely one on Amazon, which tells the story of St. Nick, as best as anyone really knows, and no one truly knows. The point is, he was a good person, and his unconditional giving lives on through us repeating his miracles for one another’s wonderment.
- Teach Faith. A pastor/professor once told me, Faith is not believing, that’s a different word. Faith is the openness to receive. It’s like the film in a camera, latent, waiting to receive the teaching/love/lesson/spirit. The legend of Santa Claus teaches us to open up to something we cannot see. The lesson of faith is one that transcends religion.
- Own it. When our children come to us, they depend on us to tell them the truth. That being said, unless we are clear on why we are carrying on this tradition, our kids can misunderstand our carrying on Santa’s legacy as a “lie” and this is a sad bastardization of what we are all trying to do. Know why you are having Santa Claus in your house. St. Nick is our way of reviving the living spirit and giving unconditionally in the tradition of Jesus. The anonymity helps us to give without expecting anything back.
- Keep the spirit of St. Nick alive. Discuss saintly giving. Discuss that Saint Nick was a regular person who had strong faith, showed unconditional love, unconditional giving. Sainthood, as my friend Laura has taught, is a practice that we can all develop within ourselves. Think of the practice of being St. Nick as our personal sainthood training. Make it a spiritual and beautiful practice.
- Be ready for any outcome. Most people remember hearing the truth of Santa Claus, it is a pivotal time that we could make amazing, important and spiritual. It is also a sensitive, and emotional time for lots of kids. My sister and her husband did a great thing, and immediately recruited their daughter to “share in the spirit” by helping them keep it going for her younger brother. Give kids time to grieve, be upset and come to a realization. Above all, return to the loving, giving spirit and keep eyes on the prize: peace and unconditional giving of love this Christmas.